Just got home, I’m tired. Had a good time. I realise that what excites me most is great interactions. I could also feel that tonight, I wasn’t completely there. Still tired from yesterday, my energy was too low to enjoy being there. That’s either a lesson in sleeping out and taking time to rest, or a lesson in underlying things.
Met many people, and basically did what I felt I needed to do, letting go of all anxiety of the result of my actions. What happens, happens. It’s the first step towards living for myself. At a certain moment, I stopped interacting. Tired I guess, I leaned back and let it happen. This was nice, but it wasn’t superbly satisfying. In a way, I didn’t really care. Like I said, I’m probably tired.
Things are changing though. No more anxiety. Better connections with the people I meet, as I completely refrain from any pushing. Handed my number to three girls, without taking theirs. Honestly, I don’t think any will call me. But that’s just incongruence from me when I stop shining. I also don’t approach strangers that much anymore. I do, but less. I hang with the people I know more, and make sidetracks. Playing it cool, letting people come to me. I feel how the vibrant energy, the open smiling face and not looking for anything but my own amusement are very compelling. It’s working! Enjoying this ride…
