This is not what I was planning to write for my 100th post but all the things I wanted to say got so out of hand, I think I’ll turn it into a manual or something 
What I want to write about is a beautiful thing though. It’s about patience. I’m traditionally not a very patient person, and it shows in my results.
Because of wanting to get results so fast, I’ve been forfeiting a lot of pleasure I could have had meeting girls, and enjoyment from the process of slowly connecting with someone until we inexorably drift towards each other and… well, you get the point 
Also, I’ve been missing interesting conversations with guys and ‘just’ girls by wanting to get the special girls immediately.
So lately my active side kind of switched off, after all the feedback I got I figured I needed to do something differently and this was it. In the beginning it was hard, because I missed my active, thrill-seeking persona that went straight to the goal and could make things happen. On the other hand, I began to see things happen of their own accord. Much slower, and seemingly much more random. A lot less connected to my actions. And yet, unmistakably my merit, as it wouldn’t happen if I didn’t exist right.
A learning area here is the switch to escalation; sometimes it takes a little push and when you’re being patient and passive, taking it active means switching states.
I’ve noticed that in not pushing myself to ‘take the interaction further’ other than having a great conversation and letting whatever flows from that come, it just feels so much more natural and girls become more attractive to me. Like they start to show themselves. And another thing: it’s lost me nothing in dominance, I don’t become a pussy as I feared. On the contrary. With the neediness of pushing it being gone, my position as soon as I’m in a conversation becomes considerably stronger. She doesn’t know what I want, whether I want it and where it’s going. It allows me space to surprise her, whereas the pushy guy just has one role: mister social, mister active.
Another drawback of the active seeker: when Mr. Social switches off, it’s like a mask that falls. As people see him as an eternal source of energy, his being laid back and waiting to see what happens comes over as weird. A laid back guy going active and social has a different charge – he’s just having a good night.
What I want to say with is is that it’s great to have the Mr. Social as a skill, but that it’s too energy-consuming to do all the time, and also not fulfilling for making real connection. Nothing new there. What’s new, is being able to incorporate it and keep it in my arsenal as a possibility I have, a choice I can make in any given situation. How’s that for super powers!
Pressure
It’s also symptomatic to me that I put pressure on myself. Pressure to achieve, to be good at what I do, to get results. Sometimes I put less pressure on myself in one area, only to immediately apply it in another field. Like I’ll lay off at work, and start training like a madman, or going out every night. There’s always some kind of pressure going on with me; whether it be work, love life, sports, playing piano… I’m not a very relaxed person really
Sometimes I put pressure on myself in almost every single field – which is when I get overstressed, become paralysed and start sucking at stuff. This is also what makes me break down, switch off, take rest and find new insight. This also means that if I can allow myself to chill a bit more, I don’t need to crash myself into a wall every time to take some peace and quiet.
This is a typical maturing thing; with age, I’ll probably lose a lot of my need to prove myself in all kinds of areas. For now, I’m very grateful to have such a driving force – just need to keep it in check.
